Relationships

[firemedic301]

I know the fire service has some huge traditions and I respect MOST of them, however, one I would LOVE to break is DIVORCE!!!!! I have had 2 and I can say they both were in someway casulties of the service. I just would like to open some discussion on WHAT keeps a marriage working in the misted of our profession.

I LOVE my wife and have been FRIENDS with her for 23+ years and everyday I think "what can I do to make HER life easier and BETTER" and I know she does the same. However, I have seen the UGLY side of spouses being JEALOUS of what we do and in general having resentment towards our work, so with that, I say to the YOUNG guy's that are working on their FIRST marriage, it is WORK, HARD WORK!!!!!!!!! DON'T be a COCKY Weener and think now that you are the big badass Fireman and A LOT of chicks want the bitchen Fireman that the grass is greener on the otherside.

RESPECT your partner because she will be around A LOT longer then this job!!! And like I have told some of my friends, if you are thinking about divorce come by my house and drink a beer and I will break out my DIVORCE folders (Both of them) and let you look at how much it will cost you and how much your LAWYER will make off you. If you are one of the guy's, working 10 OT's a month to have all the bitchen FIREMAN TOY's, and your relationship is sucking and you don't look your wife in the eye and ask her what is TRUELY important to her, then don't be surprised when you come home after a 72 or 96 and find she has MOVED on.

Take time to ENJOY who you are and what you have, DON'T be afraid to DOWNSIZE your life alittle. Your TRUE friends don't care what you have, they care that you are happy, secure, loved, and genuinely real !!!!

NOW on the other hand, if you are married to a GOLDDIGGING, FIRE GROUPY PIECE of SH$T, that LOVE WHAT you are more than WHO you are and that love the life style YOU are providing for HER and she is SPENDING every dime you are working your a$$ off for, so you have to work 10 OT's. KICK HER A$$ TO THE CURB!!!!!! DO IT EARLY, no matter how good the sex is!!! There is no worse feeling then sitting in a FAMILY court and hearing the judge give that piece of SH$T a lot of what YOU have worked your a$$ off for.

I'm done for now, and for the ladies out there, just substitute HE for SHE and HIM for HER!!!!!!

What have you guy's found that works and what are the pitfalls!!!!

[hottie4fire]

It is obvious why you are divorced 301. YOU are the arrogrant one!

Don't give advice when you can't be the example.

[sansoofireman]

Hottie, you're an idiot. And a groupie too.

Women, across the board, treat men how they want and expect them to stick around. Then they cry and sob when their man leaves them. I will tell you from experience, we don't leave you because you're ugly or fat or bad with money or a slob around the house. We leave you because you're being a bee-otch. Period.

So my advice to the women is pick your battles. The battle you're fighting may cost you your relationship. My wife learned this after 15 years of marriage and life's been better ever since. She's a clinical therapist and even she didn't know that all you have to do is be nice to us.

Can I get a "What? What?"

[firemedic301]

HOTTIE I AM married (EXTREMELY HAPPY) and believe me I didn't start this thread as a BASH on women!!!! ABSOLUTELY the opposite, I don't want anybody to go through a divorce. I started this to open dialog with people in OUR profession to hear who couples that are happy, keep eachother happy.

Also HOTTIE, I really didn't realize why the people in here were BASHING you sooo hard when I first started posting. NOW I realized what a lump of $HIT, c#m dumpster you are, and if you are calling me arrogant you OBVIOUSLY don't know me!!!!! Just because you have had some relationships that have turned to $hit because you are, who you are, don't try to sabotage this thread with your UGLY a$$ personality.

Also GAME on if the word gets out as to your real identity!!!! DON'T expect ANY respect from US fire guy's and if I was one of your co-workers at AMR I would be very disappointed that you are out here bringing a bad name to you guy's.

Again let me say stick to the EMS section and leave the Fire threads alone.
YOU are making enemies!!!!

[MXFF]

To the administator of this great website....how much is it going to cost me for you to ban this dumb piece of sh!t Slut4Fire off this site??? You also need to rethink the original name of Drama 911. Seems to be more fitting Id say.

Now back to the original thread.

Granted Ive only been married 10 months and it is AOLT of work, this holds true for any time frame: Treat her like your dating her. Relationships can grow stagnant, its human nature.

And I know about these folders of Steves. My name might even be in there somewhere. Something about a disk........

[lvladder1]

Sometimes people aren't right for each other and it just doesn't work out regardless of occupation. Don't get me wrong though, or job does have an unusually lager than normal amount of divorce. My Dad told me 20 years ago, "son, it takes a special woman to get married and stay with a fireman." I had to live, learn and get burned to figure that one out. Granted we do have our share of coming home grumpy and taking naps. Also going out with the boys every now and then tends to piss'em off sometimes. But this job makes it WAY to EASY for them to "ride dirty". Yes I am speaking from experience. Those of you that know me, know my story. One, slash a couple of you know my ex a little to well. :cool: Whatever you spineless dummy.

Anyhow, what I'm saying is some people just aren't right for each other and if you do find your soul mate or perfect match, it's still gonna be work. Sometimes more work than work work? :confused:

And BTW Hottie, you suck

[Ash702]

So my wife & have been married for 9 years now and let me say it has been the best 6 years of my life!
But seriously, we were married before I got on the job and she has said that I have changed since getting hired. Not better or worse, just changed. Loss of sleep, some of the $hit we see and do, the drunks we gotta deal with....it all takes a toll. Something has gotta give. Lucky for me, she has grown with me as we are on this wild ride called the Fire Department, and she understands. She is cool with the occasional night out with the boys for beers and blowing off steam. She realizes that she doesn't understand some of the $hit we deal with and is cool with it.
The other cool thing is now that our kids are a bit older (6 & 7) they understand that sometimes Daddy is tired when he gets home in the morning. They will make sure that they play quietly when I got my teeth kicked in the night before.
Basically, YOU are not the only one in the Fire Department. The WHOLE family is in the Fire Department. They may not run calls, but they are a part of it none the less. And if everybody works together in the family and helps each other out on either side (naps for me and helping with the house work for her) it makes everything run smoother.
An sometimes...an early morning B J (for me) helps:D

[fyrglfr]

It is obvious why you are divorced 301. YOU are the arrogrant one!

Don't give advice when you can't be the example.

WTF!!! You have issues.

[lvladder1]

I'm re-married and have never been happier. My wife has truly embraced the firefighter family and has taken a roll with the fireman's wifes auxiliary. Of course we have ups and downs but that keeps it exciting, right.

By the way, I have the best in-laws ever. ;)

[desertmedic]

Interesting, we used to call em "badge bunnies." My trick is swinging. Man its awesome! lmao Im kidding!!

Seriously though. I too am on wifey number two. the trick is to NEVER take them for granted. Like the ever Illustrious 301 said, its not about the toys. You can have all the neatest toys in the world while you neglect your wife and one day, and you better bet your heinie its gonna happen, wife/hubby will be gone. Make a couple of date nights a month. I like to plan them out so it gives her something to look forward too. Dont give the particualrs though... Just tell her on this day were going on a "date" and leave it at that. Let her do the same for you, just the two of you. Work an OT and give her the money from it to pamper herself or buy something slinky while you do something with the kids. Its the little things that keep a marriage fresh and exciting.

[KUHNBOYZ]

Damnit Nuke , I thought you were gonna help me get all the straight scoop from drama crusher on this thread. They said I did'nt have all the facts on my last thread. Maybe they could help.............with some info?

[KUHNBOYZ]

I see biatch4fire has left this forum again. LATER

[firemedic301]

Damn now my BP will go back down, maybe somebody PM'd her and let her know we found out who she is:eek: or maybe she is out shopping for BIGGER work pants;)
XOXOXOXOX
Got to admit she is entertaining

[deceptacon]

$100 to the man who finds out who hottie for fire is....

[firemedic301]

I know but, I'm not saying!!! save the C-note she is not worth it.

[TBONE]

Do you really know who she is.
Any way I think that if you can get through the first two years ( and it will be hard) then you should be OK until you hit the seven year itch. If the seven year itch gets you then get your wife some upgrades.